Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
