The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
love makes seman taste better
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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