somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
