I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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