: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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