I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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