I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
