While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize