Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
