The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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