i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
