she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You pole danced in your parka.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
