ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.