I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
its not stalking. its research.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.