I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
