Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
