literally had 100 drinks last night.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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