I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
