The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
