Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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