You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
