When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
