I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
