I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
