the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize