i permit you to call me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What a dumb baby whore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
