So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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