I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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