Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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