you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
