im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
