Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
