That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
