A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
