PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
