Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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