Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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