I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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