There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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