Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
