I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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