singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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