I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
