I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize