She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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