i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
