Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm passing your future prison.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize