In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
