The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
