ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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