I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
