come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
