I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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