In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
