Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
