I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
