just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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