If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
