she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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