imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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