also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
