u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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