So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
