Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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