remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
