just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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