dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
